Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom.
This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
1. Two Shots, Please
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He does this every day.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why two shots?”
“One is for me, and one is for my brother who lives far away,” the guy replies.
Then one day, he orders only one shot.
“What happened? Is your brother okay?” the bartender asks.
“Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
2. Penguins in a Truck
A police officer stops a truck and hears strange noises from the trailer. Inside, he finds 50 penguins.
“You need to take them to the zoo!” the officer says.
The driver agrees and leaves.
The next day, the officer stops the same truck and finds the same penguins.
“I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!”
“I did,” the driver replies. “Today, we’re going to the beach.”
3. The Talking Duck
A duck waddles into a pub and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stares. “You talk?”
“Obviously,” says the duck.
The bartender tells a circus manager about the duck.
The next day, he says to the duck, “I found you a great job at the circus!”
“The circus?” the duck asks. “With a big tent?”
“Yes!”
“With caged animals and people living in trailers?”
“Yep!”
The duck shakes his head. “Why would they need a plasterer?”
4. The Talking Centipede
A man buys a talking centipede for $100.
At home, he asks, “Want to grab a beer?”
The centipede says nothing.
After a while, he asks again, “Want to grab a beer?”
Finally, the centipede pops out of the box and says, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
5. The Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and goes to Hell. He fixes the AC, the roads, and even the pool.
God sees Hell is too nice and demands the engineer back.
The devil refuses.
God threatens, “I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughs, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
6. The Lawyer’s First Client
Joe, a new lawyer, sets up his office. A man walks in.
Joe pretends to be on a call: “Yes, tell New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week!”
Finally, he turns to the man. “Sorry for the wait, how can I help?”
The man replies, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
7. The New Farmer
A city man moves to the countryside and buys 100 baby chicks.
A week later, he buys 200 more. Then 500 more.
The farm store worker says, “Wow, you must be doing great!”
The man sighs, “Not really. I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart.”
8. The Bachelor’s Cookbook
Two single guys discuss cooking.
“I got a cookbook, but I couldn’t make anything from it,” one says.
“Too hard?” asks the other.
“Yeah! Every recipe started with ‘Get a clean plate…’”
9. The Office Shredder
A new worker asks for help using the shredder.
The secretary takes his thick report and puts it in.
“Thanks!” he says. “But what side do the copies come out?”
10. The Desert Horse
A man lost in the desert finds a house. The owner lets him borrow a horse.
“To make it go, say ‘Thank God.’ To stop, say ‘Amen.’”
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page. Tap READ MORE to discover the rest 🔎👇
