Your mother was always so strong, so capable. Even when we were young, she had a fire in her that intimidated me.
I, on the other hand, was a child playing at being a grown-up. I had grown up with comforts and an easy life, and the responsibility of fatherhood, of providing for a family, terrified me. So, I ran.
Like a coward.
It took facing my own mortality to realize just how stupid and irresponsible I had been. I had given up a good life, a loving family, all because I was afraid. And to make matters worse, I see the same weakness in the children I did raise.
After their mother died, all they cared about was money and who got more attention. It sickened me.
Then, after all these years, I looked into you. I saw the woman you had become.
How you worked from the age of 14, how you put yourself through school and earned a degree in computer science. About how you have a steady job and a close relationship with your mother. You built a life for yourself, a good life, despite my absence.
And it made me realize how selfish I had been.
This house, this money… it’s not about making amends. I know I can never do that. But I hope it shows you that I regret everything.
I regret leaving. I regret missing your life. And most of all, I regret not being the father you deserved.
Have a great life, Emily.
You’ve earned it.”
My eyes blurred with tears. For so long, I’d been angry. I’d struggled with feelings of abandonment, with the pain of a missing father.
Now, I was overwhelmed. He had looked into me. He was proud of the life I’d built.
I only wished he had reached out.
I don’t know if I would’ve forgiven him, but maybe, I would’ve tried to get to know him, too.
Things could’ve been different. Yet, as my tears fell, I realized I was also grateful. Not for the house, the money, or any of it, but for these words — they soothed something in my soul.
I vaguely heard Grandma Estelle ushering my half-siblings out.
Their protests quickly faded as they left the house. I focused on Mr. Davis, who instructed me to call him to finalize the legal matters.
And then, I was alone in my father’s house, the house that used to be mine and my only chance to get to know him now.
Was it even possible to know a person after they were gone? I wondered, but I supposed I was about to find out.
